Firmly Planted

As I walked down Fendalton Road this morning, I walked past an older, stately home which had recently been added to the real estate market in Christchurch.  The sign posted by the realtor listed the characteristics of the house and included the words, “Firmly Planted”.  This home managed to escape the fate of so many other homes that have lost chimneys, bricks, walls, or been moved from their very foundations as the earth has done her best to shake everything loose.  The latest round of earthquakes began last Friday.  After a few months of relative peace, you could feel the great communal sigh when they began anew.  The latest ones measured 6.0, 5.8, and 5.7 with many smaller aftershocks.  Houses and yards once again filled with liquefaction.  Streets became rivers and people gritted their teeth and shoveled out from under.  Stores were forced to close on Friday until engineers could inspect for safety.  Closing so close to Christmas must have been tragic for business, but they were all open again on Christmas Eve.  People were back at the Mall on Saturday, but they avoided the parking terraces.

Skittish Kiwis left long ago, those who remain are hardy folk.  This is their home and they are staying.  Adaptability is their middle name.  We were attending a funeral on Friday.  The first quake was lengthy and strong.  The speaker paused, waited for the shaking to stop, and went right on.  No one moved or tried to leave the building.  Several more happened during the service, each one was met with equal calm and composure.  The earthquake commission will begin inspections once again.  Insurance claims will be resubmitted.  More homes will be ‘red-zoned’, and life will go on.

As I walked this morning, I considered the analogy between these quakes and my mission.  This last 14 months have presented many trials, things that left me shaken and reeling.  However, I knew within the first few weeks that I would not be fleeing.  I knew I was here for the long haul.  As each new wave of testing came, I clung on and prayed.  I relished the moments of calm and sweated through the times of turmoil.  And, in the end, I find myself even more “firmly planted” in my faith than I was before I came.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is my home and I’m staying.  I have had so many prayers answered in such personal ways, that I can’t imagine where Heavenly Father is finding the time to take care of everyone else.  Some of those answers have come immediately as he has given me words to say or answers to questions.  Some answers have come as enlightenment or understanding.  Each answer has left me full of gratitude and wonder.  I have learned the profound beauty of the Savior’s teachings.  I understand more fully the joy that comes as we embrace and live those teachings.  I’ve seen lives changed as the doctrine of forgiveness, or repentance, or charity is internalized.  I know that those who are happiest are those who live Christ’s teachings.  A small incremental step forward in being better able to live as he taught, leads to a monumental increase in joy.  I cannot even imagine what it would be like to finally be as he is.  It will take many more shakings (tests) and eons of time, but out there somewhere is the possibility.

I hear many people bare their testimony that they know Heavenly Father loves them.  I just hope that Heavenly Father knows that I love him and his Son.  I hope that there is something I have said or done here that will help someone else be more “firmly planted”.

A recap of what happened this last week…

Thursday night we attended a Christmas party at the YSA flat. 

They went all out with the decorations.  They had everything including a roaring fire.

With Alice Cammock.

We spent Christmas Eve with the new senior sisters.

Sister Nation, Sister Chelius and I took a Christmas program to two retirement homes.  Sister Chelius and I played some piano duets and Sister Nation told a Christmas story.  The Sisters fixed a delicious meal for us that night of shrimp and pasta and then we played a new word game, Quiddler.  I think the earthquakes really frightened them.  So much for them to adjust to; being away from family, earthquakes, a new culture, and a new companion.  They will be all right, though, and we are so glad they are here.

On Christmas Day, all five wards met together because the Opawa chapel had not been inspected for safety.  I enjoyed having Christmas on Sunday.  What a great opportunity to celebrate the Savior’s birth and to take the emblems of his death.  I kept thinking of Christ’s statement to Pilate, “To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world”, and of the words to ‘Mary’s Lullaby’, “Away spectered future of sorrow and plight, away to the years that must follow tonight.”  I could see and feel great love in the condescension of God. 

We had an hour long service and then went to Bourne’s for dinner. 

Kenny Neider, Margo Neider, Laura Bourne Bates, Matthew Bates, Adam Bourne, Amy, Margaret, Martin, John, and Sister Tailasa (from Fiji).

Margaret Bourne’s Christmas pudding and custard sauce.

We had a second meal at Cammocks and enjoyed visiting with their family.  We were supposed to go to Bell’s, but ran out of steam.  People are always so kind to us.  We were anything but alone on Christmas. 

December Musings

We are getting into full Christmas mode now, well as much as we can without Christmas trees, Christmas music, Christmas lights, and family.  Eating and partying have been ratcheted up.  Yesterday we had the annual south island Christmas zone conference.  So many of the young elders and sisters that we know have gone home now and it was a sea of new faces.  Each district performed a skit.

Here the Canterbury District’s super obedient missionary tries to convince Santa (Elder Neider) that he shouldn’t be working on Sunday this year.  The other elder is asking Santa for a new companion.

This district did a lip-sync to ‘I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas’.  When he came to the word ‘white’ in the lyrics, he pointed to the face of the white elder (middle of back row) and got quite a laugh.  There really are very few white elders here.  Mostly islanders who can really pack away the food.  The sisters of Cashmere ward provided a beautiful lunch with ham, turkey, lamb, and all the trimmings. 

Starting at the left: Sister Risenmay, Elder Neider, Sister Neider, Janice, John, President Kezerian, Sister Kezerian, and Elder Risenmay.

We had a white elephant gift exchange and the nose warmers were the hit of the day.  (Thanks, Kathy.  We hope you’re not offended that we passed on some of your handiwork.)

I couldn’t believe that some young elder would part with these.  I was also a winner in the gift exchange.

Elder Tuipulotu, who goes home this next transfer, told of his mother in his parting testimony.  He said that she had written faithfully each week for two years.  She had a very hard time writing in English, so the bulk of her letters were written in Tongan with a one-liner in English underlined for emphasis.  She wrote such things as, “Son, please don’t teach girls.”  She wanted him to stay on the straight and narrow.  And, “Son, please lose some weight.”  She knew that he would be fed in every Tongan or Samoan home he visited.  And she wrote, “Son, love your companion.”

John’s mother could have written the same advice to him and she would have been pleased with the results.  He lets me take care of the girls, he has definitely lost weight, and he has loved me and served me unfailingly.  I was thinking about our mission the other day and realized that he might have been happier serving a different kind of mission.  The new sisters, Chelius and Nation, are family history missionaries who spend each day photographing records in the archives of this city.  It is technical work, done one on one with a camera—the perfect mission for an introverted photographer like John.  I’m the one that loves the interaction with these students and who is energized by teaching and visiting and activities.  And yet he has cheerfully gone along with my desires and served the kind of mission I knew I would love.  Don’t get me wrong, he loves the kids and all  that goes with them, but it takes an effort for him—an effort that he has so willingly expended.  He has ridden the roller coaster of emotions a mother away from her children, grandchildren, and home can create, and he has done it with nary a whimper.  He is the best of companions.  I, on the other hand, am still me. 

Trevor Anderson graduated from university this year so we had a little celebration at family home evening.

The majority of our young single adults are not enrolled in university.  The area authorities are stressing education knowing what a difference it will make in lives and in the future of the church her in New Zealand.  We are proud of Trevor and know of the work that goes into this great accomplishment. 

We sang ‘A New Zealand Carol’ in Relief Society a few weeks ago.  The words will always remind me of Christmas here on the other side of the world.

Carol our Christmas, an upside down Christmas; snow is not falling, and trees are not bare.

Carol the summer, and welcome the Christ Child, warm in our sunshine and sweetness of air.

Sing of the gold and the green and the sparkle, water and river and lure of the beach.

Sing in the happiness of open spaces, sing a nativity summer can reach!

Shepherds and musterers move over hillsides, finding, not angels, but sheep to be shorn;

Wise ones make journeys, whatever the season, searching for signs of the truth to be born.

Right side up Christmas belongs to the universe, made in the moment a woman gives birth;

Hope is the Jesus gift, love is the offering, everywhere, anywhere, here on the earth.

Merry, merry Christmas to our beautiful family and our wonderful friends.    

And So It Goes

I keep thinking about two lines from the Billy Joel song:  “And so it goes, and so it goes, and so will you soon I suppose.”  One of the hardest things for me about working with the young single adults is their ever-changing lives.  I just get attached to them and they move on. Each one leaves such a big hole in the group and in my heart.  We’ve had to say goodbye to two of the best lately and we’re in mourning.

Hayley Lee finished her course and is now a pharmacy tech.  She studied in Hamilton and then came to Christchurch to finish.  Hayley settled into her flat in the middle of the city a day or two before the February earthquake. Frightened and shaken she fled to Oamaru to be with her sister and escape the damage and aftershocks. She planned to return home to Hamilton.  On our trip south that same week, we met Hayley at church in Oamaru.  She told us her story, we gave her our address and phone number, and told her that if she decided to come back to Christchurch we would look after her and introduce her to some wonderful young adults.  Several weeks later we got a phone call.  It was a Monday night.  One of the kids went to pick her up for family home evening and, ‘poof’, she added her magic to that of all the others and we became better.  She is caring, loving, funny, smart, and all other things wonderful.  We tried everything to get her to take a job here in Christchurch, but she felt strongly that she should move back closer to her family.  As much as we love her, we don’t want to interfere with the workings of the Spirit or with bonds of family.  And so it’s goodbye Hayley, hello skype and facebook.

Maverick Wetzel has to be one of the finest young men I know.  He is intelligent (just graduated with a degree in engineering), spiritual, gentle, loving, and handsome.  He brings fun and laughter to every activity and reason and understanding to every class discussion.  He is returning to Samoa where he plans to submit mission papers after the first of the year.  Here again, as much as we would like to keep him, we would never want to interfere with missionary work.  He will make a huge impact wherever he serves.  His parents hosted a graduation celebration.  We were so glad to be included.  Maverick talked of the people in the room, of his love for each of them, and his hopes that we would meet together many times in the future.  I would love that too, but sometimes when I think of seeing these kids again, I realize that it might be far into the future…in a life beyond this one.  We will stay in touch.  We will always love them.  And we WILL see them again.

We spent three days in Auckland this week.  It was our first exposure to that city.  We were in meetings most of the time with other New Zealand coordinators and the CES ‘big wigs’ from the area offices, so we didn’t do much sightseeing.  We did take a short tour of the harbor on a gray and windy day.

‘The Cloud’ built for the World Cup festivities to the cost of several million dollars.  I had a hard time seeing where all the money went…rather unimpressive in my uninformed opinion.

Half of the New Zealand navy.  The other half is a bit to the left, out of camera range.

The Hilton, an expensive piece of property built to resemble a cruise liner.

Not a very good picture, but this is a Pohutakawa tree.  They are New Zealand Christmas trees which bloom at Christmas time with bright red blossoms.  They grow mostly on the north island and the west coast.  Nature expends much more time and energy in her yuletide décor than most kiwis.  Here is this years sampling of holiday sparkle.  Oh how these places could use Jalaine.

The Christmas Season Kiwi Style

Being on a mission has many advantages, one of them is escaping the hassle of Christmas shopping.  Missionaries rarely have extra cash for buying lots of gifts, and the cost of shipping makes sending things home impossible.  Jill will shop for me so that our grandchildren are taken care of and my kids will get a check in their Christmas cards.  So, when John and I headed into the Central Business District of Christchurch this week it wasn’t with Christmas list in hand.  We went to see the new “container mall” everyone has been talking about.  Amidst all the destruction (which is slowly being cleared away),

are these stores created from inter-modal freight transport containers.  Some are bright and colorful.

Some house restaurants.

And they all sell high priced merchandise—way out of our realm.

John did find a bratwurst and onion sandwich that he could afford.  I think it was about $7.00.  Delicious!

This week we had the first of the ward Christmas parties.  Avonside ward hosted Cashmere ward on Saturday night, and Brother Bell insisted that we attend.  It was anything but the traditional, Utah ward Christmas party.  There was enough food to feed all of Christchurch and the entertainment featured something from all the island cultures and more.  If you have a few minutes, you can watch bits of the show.  There was something from Samoa.

Lusi, Elena, and Iva Sua, some of our beautiful young adults.

A Maori quartet.

Something from Tonga.

Even something from Nepal (not exactly the South Pacific).  Bhumika and Rhadika Dhakal are seminary students.

And the enormously talented David Bell doing a Cook Island dance.

His daughters say he dances like a giant penguin.  Here’s what it’s supposed to look like.

And the grand finale.

A good time was had by all!

And The Winner Is….

There are many people and things on this mission that have truly been outstanding and worthy of recognition.  I reckon this is a good place to sing their praises.  I will address them in categories.

Best Student

It has been a privilege to work with all of the seminary and institute students.  We love each and everyone of them.  However, there has been one who has consistently risen above her class.  She read every word in the institute manual.  Her comments in class were always helpful, informative, and spot on.  When we had game nights to review the material we had covered, her team always dominated the competition.  Last week, after family home evening, she told story after story about the prophets we had studied.  I think she remembered every word we ever uttered in class.  And so, for excellence in her pursuit of gospel knowledge, here is Alyse James, winner of the PAUL V. JOHNSON scholarship. 

Being a PAUL V. JOHNSON scholar means a full-ride scholarship until she graduates from institute.  Alyse is the first ever recipient of this high honor. 

Best Kiwi Thanksgiving

We had an honest-to-goodness Thanksgiving dinner this year thanks to Margo and Kenny Neider who rounded up all the Americans from Ashburton and the Christchurch zone for turkey and all the trimmings.  We ate until we were stuffed, chatted until we were hoarse, and stayed until we were tiresome.  It is interesting how quickly and deeply I’ve grown to love these people.  There is an instantaneous level of understanding when you’re far from home, sharing concerns, and experiencing the same feelings.  Thank you, Neiders.  We love you.

Margo Neider, Me, Terry (a recent convert from Georgia), Sister Nation, and Sister Chelius.  Sisters Nation and Chelius arrived this week from the U.S.  They are family history missionaries sent to Christchurch to photograph records.  Sister Chelius was a Munns from Orlando, Florida.  Her father and mother were friends of my parents and her brother was Andrew’s mission president in Boston when he was waiting for a visa.  It’s a small world. 

Great Kiwi Family and Home

Hare and Suzanne Pitama and their son Te Tera are a delightful family from our ward.  They have been teaching the ward young adult Sunday school class  and the mission prep classes for the stake.  They are bright, well educated, witty, fun, and marvelous role-models for the young adults.  Their home is beautiful and a place of welcome for so many people.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the Christmas decorations mingled with shorts and flip flops.

Hare Pitama

Suzanne Pitama

Best Correspondents

I have often heard missionaries tell about how they received many letters from friends and family for the first few months but soon felt forgotten as mail became more infrequent.  Living in the age of technology, we have never expected letters.  However, when I first started this blog, I sometimes had up to 23 comments and responses.  As the months have passed, that number has dwindled to 2 or 3.  Our faithful followers have either become bored (I really can’t blame them for that), or they have forgotten us (out of sight, out of mind).  I want to give a shout out to those who have made us believe they were interested.  I have tallied the responses and have designated winners in several categories.

Children: Jill Dickey.  Jill only missed one blog entry.  She has a total of 57 points—nearly twice as much as her closest sibling.  We will see that the inheritance is distributed accordingly. 

Siblings: Kathy Thatcher with a total of 38.  Brad was a close second with 33.  It is a good thing that no one in this family is competitive—especially not Brad.  He won’t mind being second.  I’m sure he’ll just be happy for Kathy.   And the prize is…a weekend hideaway at Brad’s cabin.

In-laws:  Rosie Johnson.  No one else even came close.  Rosie, you win free room and board for as long as you want to stay in Christchurch during the month of January, 2012. 

Cousins: Terri Weidman. Terri, because you have proven to be so faithful and caring, you have won the right to be matriarch of the Johnson-Holmstead dynasty.

Friend: Krista Langan.  Krista has commented on my blog, via email, every single week.  Your prize, Krista, is dinner and an evening of conversation at a restaurant of your choice as soon as I get back. 

This really is not a competition, but I do want all of you back home to know just how much I appreciate your support, your strength, and your love.  Thank you for your interest in our lives and for cheering us on.

Driving, Driving, and More Driving

It’s been a wild week and a half.  We have traveled from the southern tip to the northernmost part of this island to attend seminary graduations.  They have been hurried trips with no time to stop and take well-planned pictures.  The only photos have been shot from the car window as we drove 100 km per hour (that’s 60 mph and the maximum speed limit in New Zealand) down the road.

Nothing but blue skies, fluffy white clouds, green paddocks, sheep, and gorse.

Gorse, the yellow plant covering these hills, is a major invasive weed that covers almost 2,000,000 acres of this country.  It was brought by the early settlers from Europe in the 1800’s who intended to use the plant for hedges.  However, the climate here caused it to spread so rapidly that it has become a big problem; impossible to eradicate and costly to control.  The seeds can lie dormant on the ground for 50 years and methods for removal like burning or bulldozing create ideal conditions for its germination.  Big problem—reminds me of Dyers Wode and the wonderful family outings we had chopping that nasty stuff.

Although the distance between Christchurch and Nelson is only about 240 miles, it takes a good 5 or 6 hours to get there.  The roads are winding and narrow with slower speed limits through every small town.  We also ran into many one way bridges.

The bridges are approached very slowly to make sure there are no vehicles coming in the other direction.  They are barely wide enough for our Toyota Corolla and I’m wondering what happens when a big diesel truck needs to cross.  It must be quite the squeeze.

Seminary graduation in Nelson was wonderful and I got to meet up with four of my online students.  These kids were consistent, dependable, and thorough in their seminary work and I love each one of them.

Jeron Prasad, David Schaumkel, Justin Prasad, and Laura Taylor

I believe I mentioned Jenny Reneti’s son, James, who reminds me of Jonathan.  Here he is—Jonathan with a Maori body…

I have loved being surrounded by all these beautiful brown people; Maoris, Samoans, and Tongans.  Pakehas are definitely a minority here within the church.  Some of my kids will say to me, “It’s okay.  You can’t help it that you’re white.”  They are all proud of their heritage. They can laugh at some of the more comical characteristics of their culture, and they certainly don’t wish they were white.  I, on the other hand, am jealous of their beautiful brown skin, mops of thick black hair, and their warm and colorful personalities.  We seem washed out and colorless beside them.

Sister Yu spent several nights with us last week as her companion, Sister Posala, was in the hospital with an infection in her leg.  I got a chance to learn a little more about her life.  Sister Yu comes from a city in northeastern China.  She is an only child and much loved by her parents.  The limited exposure she had to Christianity, came from her mother’s older sister.  This aunt had spent some time in Colorado where she was converted to Christianity.  She took her devotion with her when she returned to China.  When this aunt became seriously ill with cancer, Sister Yu took care of her everyday after school.  Sister Yu and her mother did all they could to make the woman’s final days as comfortable and peaceful as possible.  When the aunt asked them to go to her church to pray for her and give some donations, they gladly did it.  They noticed the peace this simple act brought the dying woman.  Her other exposure to Jesus Christ was not as positive.  One of her uncles was also married to a Christian, but this woman caused such trouble in the family that no one considered being a Christian a positive trait.

When Sister Yu finished high school, her parents learned of a school in New Zealand.  They saved and sent their daughter to Auckland.  Upon arriving, she found that the school was a sham.  Crying and homesick she called her mother for guidance.  Her mother made a strange suggestion, “See if you can find a church.  Someone in a church will help you.” 

Sister Yu said that she prayed to “God” the next morning, “If you’re really there, help me find your church.”  She walked down the street a short distance and saw a Chinese man (she spoke very little English) sitting on a bench at the bus stop.  For some reason, this man looked up at her and smiled—something quite unexpected.  With all the courage she could muster, she said, “Could you help me find a church?”  The man said that he knew two young men who could tell her about a church and introduced her to the Mormon missionaries.  She studied, she boarded with a Mormon family, she believed, she was baptized, and then she wanted to be a missionary herself.  She had a problem though, telling her parents was not going to be easy.  She prayed and talked to her parents every night for several days, but never found the right words.  Finally, her mother said, “Are you trying to tell us that you want to be a missionary?”  When Sister Yu answered in the affirmative, her mother said they would help her.  Her parents, neither of them members or even Christians, work and pay for her to fulfill her dream of being a missionary. 

She told me that she dreams that one day her parents will go to the temple to see her married there.  I have confidence that this dream will come true.  Sister Yu is full of simple and profound faith.     

As we head into this Thanksgiving week, I just want to express my thanks to my Heavenly Father for every single person in my life.  I love my family; my faithful and unselfish husband, my marvelous children—no mother ever had better ones, my adorable and perfect grandchildren, my fun-loving and entertaining brothers, sister, and in-laws, my nieces,  nephews, and cousins.  I have been blessed with some of the best friends in the world, kind and helpful everyone of them.  I’m also thankful for the new people in my life.  I may have only known them for a year, but my love for them is eternal.  You have all enriched my life and made it worth living.  I cherish each and everyone of you.  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We will be thinking of you with much love.

Happy Holidays

We know that friends and family back home are planning and preparing for Thanksgiving and the Christmas holidays.  Once again, it has been difficult to feel the usual enthusiasm when all of the trees are fully leafed out and the bushes are in full bloom.  People have finally converted to shorts and jandals, and the university is out for the summer.  However, as we traveled to Invercargill a week ago for the first of the seminary graduations, we ran into this…

We both burst into song, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”.  We felt it.  We felt the spirit of Christmas, at least for the hour it took for us to drive through this mountainous stretch.  Now we’re back in Christchurch and this is how it looks out our front window.

Sister Neider wants to have a Thanksgiving dinner.  She started pricing turkeys and found out that a very small one costs $75.00.  Perhaps we’ll come up with a modification on the traditional menu.  She has also been trying to get me to buy a Christmas tree.  She found some good ones at the thrift store for very little money.  She doesn’t know me well enough to know that at home my daughter has to force me to put up a tree.  “Mother, you do have grandchildren you know.”  She’s unaware that I’ve been called the world’s biggest Scrooge because I take the decorations down by noon on Christmas day.  Christmas just isn’t the same without family, and a tree won’t help any, so I’m going to resist the non-existent urge.  Thanks anyway, Margo, I’ll just enjoy yours.  It has been a great thing to have Kenny and Margo down in Ashburton.  We get to see them often and they are wonderful friends.  I remember Mom and Dad really loved the couples they served with on their mission, and we thought we were going to miss out on that aspect of the senior missionary experience.  The Neiders will be our friends in the years to come and I’m sure we will become more familiar with the road between Bountiful and Idaho Falls.

As is always the case around here, we have been celebrating some holidays.  Last week we had two; Cup Day and Show Day.  Cup Day is a day at the races, horse races that is.  New Zealand is very much into horse racing.  Cities of any size at all have race tracks.  On Cup Day, women and men don their finest clothes and head to the races.  Women wear skimpy dresses and ‘fascinators’, headpieces of every variety with bows, ribbons, flowers, and feathers.  Here is a cheap example from the $2.00 store.

The racetrack does not seem to be the main attraction of the holiday, the booze is. 

Friday was Show Day in Canterbury.  This is the A&P Show; A&P for agriculture and pastoral.  Similar to our state fair, people go to see huge pigs and prize winning sheep, etc..  Here, though, everyone gets a day off from work.  It is a HOLIDAY for crying out loud.

I was sick last week and feeling quite miserable.  I needed to play for choirs and congregations during several sessions of stake conference this past weekend and was so grateful that after John and Kenny Neider gave me a blessing, I started to feel better quickly.  There really is no time for sickness right now.  We have to go north this weekend for the Nelson District seminary graduation on Saturday and then hurry back home for the seminary and institute graduation in Christchurch on Sunday night.  I have kids from my online class taking part in all of the seminary recognition programs.  I’m so pleased that 12 of them managed to earn a certificate of completion for this year.  Institute numbers are way up also.  I hope things will just keep moving in that direction.  

We’ll be thinking of you all bundled up and going over the river and through the woods to share Thanksgiving with each other.  We will shed sweaters and nylons in an effort to keep cool as we share chicken and give thanks from this part of the world.  From the bottom of our hearts we thank our Heavenly Father for his goodness and mercy to us.  We thank him for the wonderful people in our lives; people on both sides of this world.  We hope you feel his love as we do. 

On Being A Faithful Mum

My granddaughter, Mimi, said to me one day when she was only three years old, “Grandma, I’m really good at multi-tasking.”  I was always checking her to see if she understood the big words she used, and so I said, “I don’t think you know what multi-tasking means.”  “Yes I do”, she replied before defining it as well as Webster could, “it means doing lots of things at the same time.”  It is a skill that will come in handy, especially when she becomes a mum.  Mums are usually outstanding multi-taskers.  I have been amazed as I make it through all the things I must do each day over here, that I have still managed to think about my children and grandchildren nearly every waking moment.  They are never out of my mind.  Sometimes I’m remembering precious moments, sometimes I’m laughing about funny things they say and do, sometimes I’m wondering how they’re feeling, and often I’m praying for their well-being.  I have to admit that I am a skilled and accomplished worrier.  I have spent many hours honing the skill before and during this mission.  

In 1833, Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon were called on a mission. The work had to go on—nothing could stop it. On October 11, Joseph wrote in his journal, “I feel very well in my mind. The Lord is with us, but have much anxiety about my family.”

Joseph, as a missionary, had the same worries that I have—his family. The Lord’s response to his anxiety came the next day in a revelation found in section 100 of the Doctrine and Covenants. Verse 1 says,  “Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you, my friends Sidney and Joseph, your families are well; they are in mine hands, and I will do with them as seemeth me good; for in me there is all power.”

I found this scripture before I left for New Zealand and it gave me great comfort, for I knew it applied to my family as well.  However, I think I misinterpreted it.  I read the words, “they are in mine hands”, and then skipped to, “in me there is all power”.  Somehow I expected that with the Lord taking charge in my absence (like he wasn’t in charge all along), he would simply do all the things I would do for them and more, because he has more power than I do.  In short, the next 18 months would be smooth sailing for those left at home.  I would do what I could on this end, i.e. fast, pray,and do the Lord’s work here, and he would calm the troubled waters of life at home.  You who are smarter than I am are laughing at my naivety. 

This past year has been a lesson in faith; what it is and what it is not.  About a year ago there was something I wanted desperately to happen for one of my children.  It seemed like a righteous desire, one that would be a blessing.  So I fasted and I prayed.  I hoped and I prayed.  I obeyed and I prayed. I exercised my faith and I prayed.  And, it DIDN’T happen.  Surely the problem was mine.  I didn’t have enough faith.  I didn’t fast enough.  I didn’t obey enough.  How could I develop faith strong enough to make things happen?  I was angry, I was discouraged, I was shaken.  And then the Lord started tutoring.  I learned that no matter how much effort I put into it, I cannot generate faith on my own.  Rather, it is a gift from God. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8)  I have come to realize that I have already been gifted great faith, and the next step in this learning process has been to understand that faith and how to exercise it. 

I learned that faith is not just positive thinking or unwavering personal will or resolve.  Faith is the power of God and can only be used to fulfill his purposes.  It can never be used in contradiction to his will.  Bruce R. McConkie taught, “Faith cannot be exercised contrary to the order of heaven or contrary to the will and purposes of him whose power it is.” 

Those of you who are far ahead of me in spiritual development will find that very elementary, but to me it was earth shattering and pushed me to a whole new level of understanding.  If that is true, then I can stop beating myself up for not having enough faith or being good enough to qualify for some of the things I have been desiring for a very long time.  Perhaps it’s not about me.  Maybe it is about God’s plan and his will.  Then, what am I to be doing with this faith, with my prayers, with my fasting?  I am to find out the will of God and then exert every effort to help him achieve his will.  McConkie again, “Men work by faith when they are in tune with the Spirit and when what they seek to do by mental exertion and by the spoken word is the mind and will of the Lord.”

I can and will seek for direction and guidance, and I can and will act with courage and forthrightness when I know his will.  And when I am unsure…I can trust.  I can and will ‘wait upon the Lord’.  (I loved Elder Hales talk in conference. It is some of the mortar that is helping me build my impenetrable wall of faith.) Those who are not worry-driven or anxiety-ridden can never understand the peace that follows that understanding.  I am only expected to help the Lord in his mighty work.  I do not have to work with all my energy to convince him to help me do mine.  I do not have a work.  It is all his.  And he has such a vast view and understanding. 

It is not easy for a person who feels the need to control and who wants to know the end from the beginning to let it all go, but the trade off is well worth it.  I have had moments of sublime peace lately.  The problems have not all been solved, but I do know that he is working on them in his own way—”as seemeth me good”. Those are the key words in that scripture, the ones I had overlooked. 

To my family, I love you all, as does he.  I’m absolutely sure of it.

My Memory Card

These weeks go by in a blur and sometimes, when it’s time to write another blog entry, I struggle with remembering what we’ve done the previous week.  When this happens, I just pull the memory card out of my camera, download the pictures onto my computer, and remember the sights, sounds, and feelings of the past seven days.  I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t called a ‘memory card’ for that reason, but it seems so suitable.

Last week, we attended seminary and institute in Ashburton.  This little seminary class of Samoan students is quite remarkable.  One of the fathers picks up each student every morning and delivers him/her to the church for seminary.  The kids come dressed in ‘Sunday best’; shirts and ties for the boys and skirts for the girls.  Their teacher, Mata, is like a tiny drill sergeant.  She takes her calling very seriously and her class responds well to her methods.  Discipline is never a problem.  I recorded them singing a ‘scripture mastery’ song; a fun way to learn D&C 8:2-3.

While driving to Ashburton, we passed this beautiful bush. The color was so vibrant and beautiful, that I made John pull over to take a picture.

The picture does not do it justice.  Here’s a close up of the blossoms.

I have been watching out for them ever since and have found them in many glorious colors.  They are azaleas.  I’ve seen azaleas before, but none like these.  They are in the same family as the rhododendrons which are spectacular here as well.  We took a walk through the botanical gardens at Hagley Park where the azaleas are in full splendor. 

Friday night was the YSA Halloween party.  The institute building was transformed into Hogwarts and we had a Harry Potter night with classes on magic and wizardry.  Because I am not a Harry Potter fan (I know this statement will open me up to all kinds of criticism, but I read the first book and could make it no further), I felt a little out of touch the entire evening.  Those of you who have read the whole series will recognize the following members of the faculty:

Headmaster Staufferdore (John’s costume once again from the versatile ‘handi wipe’ cloths here at the institute.),

Severus Snape (Trevor should be an actor.  He is in his element when he’s in costume.),

and Professor McStauffergall.

Tui in the sorting hat.

David Campbell learned the art of shrink wrapping from Professor McStauffergall.  (Thanks Uncle Scott for this activity that has been a family favorite for years.)

A walk through the campus for more beautiful sites.

A momma Paradise Duck watches over her babies.

Tomorrow, November 1, it will have been a year since we entered the MTC.  What a year it has been; two new grandchildren, 9,000 earthquakes with weeks of boiling water, deaths of well-loved family and friends, hospitalized granddaughter, new friends, homesickness, adjustments, growth, and learning.  When Elder Holland promised senior missionaries “the experience of a lifetime”, he was speaking the absolute truth.  If anyone out there is looking to escape the doldrums, come along.  You will never be bored!