Magical Moments

I often make fun of my brother Brad who loves to climb mountains, one after another all over the world.  I think he does it for the beautiful vistas that can only be enjoyed from the top after a long and difficult climb.  There is something up there that makes the climb worth it and keeps him searching for new mountains to conquer and new, magical views.

Like being on the pinnacle of a mountain, there are moments in life, not too many, when things come together just right and you are filled with pure peace and joy.  They usually come at the end of a rather long and difficult trial.  They follow periods of reflection, study, and longing to understand.  They do not come without stretching and tears.  I had such a moment last week and want to record it so that I don’t forget.

We had our night of registration for fall institute.  Kids came for the sausage sizzle and to sign up for the classes of their choice.  I planned to have a small class after the bbq for a few students who needed to do some make-up in order to get credit for the Preparing for Celestial Marriage class we taught during the summer. I was expecting the six or seven students I had invited.  Instead we had 35 show up.  I divided the class into small groups of three or four and invited them to come up with a dating scenario in which there was a problem that needed solving or a question that needed answering.  They were then asked to apply some of the principles that we learned during the class that would help this imaginary couple resolve their problem.  It was wonderful.  They covered almost every topic we had addressed and some that we hadn’t.  Their answers were in line with correct principles and they had scriptures or quotations from prophets to support all of their resolutions.  Some discussion caused riotous laughter as the Samoans bantered with the Maoris.  I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time—those belly laughs that extend life.  Other comments brought tears and confirmation of the Spirit.  At the end of this activity, I asked what they had learned in the class that had changed their thinking and hopefully their lives.  Emma, recently returned to activity after many years of living a life contrary to these principles, tearfully shared her recognition that these truths were lovingly given to protect us.  Brittany, a convert of six months, was struck by the stark contrast between the dating practices of LDS youth and those outside the church.  She was so happy to incorporate these principles in her life and she knew what kind of family she wanted to work towards.  Another young woman shared about how she had been so incensed by some of the teachings until she understood the why behind them.  It was the perfect class and it was entirely taught by the students.  No one wanted it to end.  Wiki told me today how much she loved the lesson last Thursday night.  She said she tried to remember every word that was said to share with her mother.

It sounds so insignificant, but the class was perfect.  I felt such love for everyone there.  I found them so funny and wonderful, and I could feel the Spirit in the room.  I knew that some of their lives will be better because they attended that class and allowed themselves to be taught by the Holy Ghost.  It was a magical moment.  When we got home I could not sleep.  I just kept saying “Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!”  to my Heavenly Father.  I was sincerely grateful to be on this mission.  It took me 16 months to feel that complete and unrestrained gratitude and joy in this work.  It was a long time in coming, but it was worth the effort and the wait.

No matter how many mountains Brad climbs, he has to come back down.  You can only stay on top for so long. He has pictures, I have the magical feeling stored in my head, in my heart, and on this blog.  I will not forget.  

WOW!

This week I get to put in my two cents. I get to talk about my companion. Lest anyone accuse us of being members of a mutual admiration society, let me say this: You are right!  We do love and admire each other mutually, and in a very special way. I am so thankful for this mission because I get to spend every minute with Janice. I get to see even more of how awesome she is. In the past I have watched her be a great and loving wife and mother, a wonderful leader in her church callings, a marvelous teacher in Gospel Doctrine, Young Women, and Relief Society and many other places. I know how she has reached out to many who have needed her love and support. I know of her generosity and kind nurturing way with others who have needed her. There are more things to love about her than I can mention in this blog. Now we are in full time service of the Lord and I get to see her give that a go. Wow!

I have said this before, but, this mission is her mission, I just have to get out of her way, and support her efforts in any way I can. She is truly remarkable! These young people have taken to her great personality and kind nature. She loves them all, as do I, but she has always had a natural ability to draw them in and convince them that they are loved and that we care. Once they know that, then we can teach them through the spirit, that their Father in Heaven loves them, and knows them. The gospel is true and will bring them true joy if they will embrace it. I believe that she has been called here to affect the lives of these YSA here in New Zealand. There are truly some kindred spirits that we will always love and never forget; they will be eternal friends and acquaintances.

Janice has taught me so many wonderful things. She is truly Christlike. There is no way I could have survived this mission without her being by my side. I love to watch her teach classes, not only institute, but occasionally she has stepped in at the drop of a hat and taught some great Sunday school lessons without even seeing the lesson. I could never do that. I have watched her council these young people, and I am amazed at what I hear, because her council is so perfect and right on. I know that what she is saying comes from the Lord. It is what the Lord would say if He were there. That is a beautiful thing to witness. She has been blessed with many gifts, now she is putting them to good use serving her Father in Heaven. I am so blessed to be with her here on this mission. I’ll say it again. Wow!

I believe…

Another thing I want to do is to bear testimony to my children and grandchildren of what I have learned and what I know to be true. Of course some of this I knew before my mission, some of it has been reconfirmed on this mission, and some I have come to know while here on this mission or on my first mission in England.

I believe we were sent here to this earth from a pre-existent state with our Father in Heaven. In that pre-mortal existence we made certain covenants. We knew and understood the plan, and consented to come here and experience this earthly existence. I believe that when we were in the pre-existence we first made covenants with our Father in Heaven. We then made these covenants for the first time in mortality when we were baptized and confirmed at the age of eight years old. We promised! We said we would love Him and He would love us. We said we would remember Him and He us. We said we would obey His commandments and He said He would bless us. We said we would take upon us His name and honor that name by living righteously. He said that we would have joy, because then we would always have His spirit to be with us. We need to try to maintain our integrity by partaking of the Sacrament worthily and living up to our covenants with the Lord.

The Lord is my Advocate. He wants me to live my life in a way that will lead me into paths that bring joy. He has buoyed me up when I was sinking. He has taught me in quiet ways to understand eternal truths. He has shouted at me to wake me up when I was sinking into a harmful kind of spiritual sleep. He has assured me when I have made wise decisions; He has left me to ponder my weaknesses when I have been unwise.

The obligations of faith…

I believe that when we arrive at a level of faith that allows us to start to partake of the fruits of the Gospel, we then take on certain obligations of faith.

I believe that our Father’s children are subjected to various levels of commitment and obligations, depending on their level of knowledge and understanding. When we understand the works of God here on this earth our capabilities to be obedient or disobedient increase exponentially. As the light of Christ grows forever brighter within us, we gain a greater obligation to let our lights so shine among men. Then, when we reach certain levels of understanding, we are required to enter into covenants that are key and essential to our salvation.

I believe that if you are going to survive in this world, you are going to have to rely on your Father in Heaven, His Son Jesus Christ, through the Holy Ghost. Our ability to withstand Satan is in direct proportion to our efforts to bind ourselves to God. How strong is your desire to be righteous and to withstand Satan’s influence?

I believe each of us must live in accordance with what we know to be true, this is integrity. Integrity is a sign of spiritual maturity, when we become determined to live in accordance with the principals that we know to be true.

I believe we should work, study the scriptures, pray, repent, serve, obey, think, set worthy goals, be kind, have patience, be humble, be diligent, have hope, joy, and share our joy with others. Honor parents, honor the priesthood.

I believe that each member of the family should take up the cause of Christ and carry it on to the next generation. I believe that our hearts should turn to our fathers (and mothers) and I believe that the hearts of our fathers (and mothers) are turned toward us. As we draw near to the Lord, he can help us grow.

I thank my Father and Heaven and my older brother Jesus Christ for their love and mercy. I am truly thankful for the atonement and the covenants that we are able to make and to make effective if we repent and live worthily. I love the Lord. I bear that witness in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Of Love on Valentine’s Day

I feel like I have been enrolled in a special university course this last 18 months, a course for a slow learner, one who has been taught but has failed to have the truths catch hold soul deep.  I have had intensive lessons in faith, agency, enduring, parenting, priesthood, and more.  I wanted to write a report on my latest course…Love 101.

I have enjoyed teaching the institute class on Preparing for Celestial Marriage.  The students have been enthusiastic and we have all been reminded of the sublime joy that can only come as we participate in eternal families.  It has also stirred much reflection about my own marriage.  Some things I have always known; John and I love each other, I have never known a finer man, and marrying him was the best decision I ever made.  I have been extremely blessed and I know it.  John is never critical of me and seems to love me in spite of all my weaknesses.  I, regretfully, for 38 years have pointed out to him each of his flaws.  They are small and of no eternal significance, but if I’m tired or stressed, they are hurled back at him.  [I’m rather ashamed to write these things, but they will come as no surprise to those who know us both.]

One of the biggest frustrations I have met on this mission is the fact that John’s goodness has been amplified and my shortcomings have been glaring.  His goodness made me feel so awful about myself.  Why couldn’t he complain, just once?  Didn’t he ever get tired?  If so, why didn’t he ever say so?  Did he have to hurry so fast to wash the dishes or make the bed?  Couldn’t we just sit for a minute?

My discomfort in seeing me as I really am, has caused even more criticism on my part.  Even though I’ve had to stretch to find things to criticize, I have been successful and have had to ask forgiveness many times.  [By the way, he’s also very forgiving.]

As I studied in my head all that I know about love, I knew that I needed to love John more or in a better way.  I needed to love him as God and Jesus Christ love him, and I knew that kind of love needed to come from God.  I thought of the scripture in Moroni 7:48:  “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ”.

In this thing, as in everything else, I needed His help.  As I walked one morning, I prayed ‘with all the energy of [my] heart’.  “If I quit voicing my criticisms, wilt thou please change my heart?  Help me to love John as thou does.”  I knew that such a blessing would require effort.  I had to hold back a tongue that has been far too loose for many years.  I had to check frustration and exercise patience, but, as I have done so, Heavenly Father has answered my prayers.  What a glorious month we have had!  I’m sure John has enjoyed his non-critical wife, but I have enjoyed it even more.  Loving someone as Christ does is the greatest feeling in the world, far better than being loved. I thank God for the gift of love.  I am grateful for this lesson and sorry that it has taken so many years to learn it. 

There is a quote from Elder Marvin J. Ashton in our manual where he reminds us that, “True love is a process.  True love requires personal action…Love takes time. Love of God takes time. Love of family takes time. Love of companion takes time.”

I feel so blessed having a Heavenly Father and a husband who have patiently waited for me to learn lessons of love.  I’m thankful for love.  I recognize from whom that feeling comes—that overwhelming, soul-filling, heart warming love I feel for my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my parents, my grandparents, my siblings and their families, my cousins, and my friends. 

I love you all on Valentine’s Day and every day!!!

A Fresh Start

Yesterday was the first day of seminary here in Christchurch.  The new teachers were in their classrooms and the students came with their early in the year eagerness.  We have two classes going in the institute building and one in each of the chapels.  It looks like enrollment will be up this year.  It helps that people are finally feeling a little more settled. 

Online seminary started yesterday as well.  My class from last year has been split into three classes and new students have been added to each of these.  Deanne Wilson is teaching the kids from the southern part of this island.  She has students from Waimate down to Invercargill.  A new teacher, Valerie Bignell, has been called to teach the students from the north island, and Brother Bell has decided to take on the kids in Christchurch and Blenheim.  I hope it’s not too much for him.  His class has 12 students already and will require a lot of time.  Yesterday we worked all morning trying to figure out some technical problems.  When John, Brother Bell and I add all our technical IQ together, we come out significantly short of one, less than average, 30 year old. Our years have taught us a little patience though, and so we will just keep working at it.

We had the Sisters over for dinner last night.  Sister Posala and Sister Tailasa are so excited about the changes to Riccarton ward.  They have never been so busy and they have 6 baptisms coming up this month.  The difference they attribute to our new bishop who spends hours visiting in homes, and the army of ward missionaries that have been called. There is an excitement about fellowshipping and missionary work that was not here before.  Even the Samoans that lost their Samoan speaking ward are loving the changes.

There is a quote from Herman Melville’s ‘Moby Dick’ that I like. (Believe me it was hard to find anything in that long and dreary book that I liked.  As I slogged through, I discovered a slight interest in whales and an abhorrence for the old whaling industry, that is all.)  “Seat thyself sultanically among the moons of Saturn, and take high abstracted man alone; and he seems a wonder, a grandeur, and a woe.  But from the same point, take mankind in mass, and for the most part, they seem a mob of unnecessary duplicates, both contemporary and hereditary.”

Mankind, viewed in mass, is nothing spectacular, but as I come to know individuals I am struck with wonder.  There is so much of goodness, strength, resilience, fun and beauty.  Individuals are what make this mission and life itself rich and worthwhile.  Would that I could bundle them all up and bring them home with me.  Here are just a few…

These young men have all moved down from Auckland to work for demolition companies in Christchurch.  They are all trying to earn money for missions and have added much to the YSA and institute programs. 

Shawn Chrichton, Tina Tuipulotu, (unknown), and Lusi Sua.

Dindi Chan, Sara (foreign exchange student from Germany), and Ellen Chan.

Elder Fifita proudly displays his gold tooth.  To have gold teeth in Tonga is highly fashionable.  Many people file down perfectly good teeth in order to sport a sparkling gold one.  Men, women, doesn’t matter.  One Elder said that when his grandfather died, all the grandsons got a gold tooth to honor him.  I think I’m part Tongan…

I hope my ancestors are proud.

And last, but not least, President and Sister Kezerian.

Sister Brazzeal from the mission office called yesterday.  She wanted to arrange travel for our return home.  She asked if we wanted to take some time after our release date and travel around New Zealand.  Guess what we told her?  We have seen Wellington and Auckland.  We have traveled extensively over the south island.  We have seen many of God’s spectacular creations here in the Pacific, but we are anxious to see His creations we love most—beautiful faces of family.  And so, we will leave here on May 1st, gain back the day we lost when we came, and arrive home on May 1st.